Thursday, November 8, 2012

Single Women of Calgary

It's been quite a while since I posted anything on this blog. One of the main reasons for my neglect of this site was my work and business, but I was also busy taking care of my social and 'love' life. 

In the last year or so, I have been on a routine of dating women in Calgary, because quite frankly, I am looking for a woman to settle down with.  But so far, what I have learned is that finding a long-term female companion in this city is more painful than having a root canal done.  Hence, this blog post.

What follows are my observations of Calgary girls and their messed-up attributes. 

So what are girls in Calgary like...? Click to tweet


Let us start from the bottom of the barrel...from a place called 'Plenty of Fish'.  Most of you know about this so-called dating website. Honestly, Plenty of Fish should be renamed Plenty of Single Moms. Now personally, I actually prefer single mothers (or at least I did) because I was under the impression that once a woman has a child -- or two -- that she would become more mature. Boy was I wrong!

So this website, POF, is like a smorgasbord of single mommy's, girls who got knocked up in their late teens and early twenties. And even though these girls are fairly young age wise, their lack of "up-keep" makes them look like they are in their thirties.

When you sign up for an account ans send out genuine email messages to who you think are smart and mature girls, either you don't get a response or what you get are brainless one-sentence answers to your thoughtful paragraph or two email.

And then you have those ads for pof that are popping up on various websites “have you gotten a message from a hot girl today at plenty of fish?” 

Hot girl? really?!  Which one? The girl that is separated and has 3 kids…who of course doesn't want more?!!

You’re just shit out of luck if you want kids of your own with these women, but OH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ON ALL THEIR BAGGAGE!  That is par for the course! I was amazed at the audacity of those women in particular. 

Here I am, 30 years old, never been married, have no children….yet I am supposed to settle for used up goods? Call me old fashioned, but I want a girl that does not have multiple kids with multiple fathers. So that took out about 70% of "fish" swimming around in those dirty waters. 

That left me with the unattractive, dopey, and mean, stuck up bitches. I went on a few dates with women I met from there, and each experience was worse than sitting in a dentist chair. I felt no attraction to them whatsoever.  

Needless to say, my PoF adventure did not last too long, and I had to accept...this particular website was not the best place to find classy women.  So at the reommendation of a friend, I signed up on another dating site which he spoke highly of and claimed that he had a positive experience of.....OkCupid.

I browsed the website before putting up my profile and thought, 'Hmm, well this looks a bit more high-class'.
So I gave it a go. 

The first date I got from OkCupid was just a taste of things to come. This woman, who from her profile seemed intelligent and down-to-earth kind of girl, viewed our interaction as a job interview, explaining that like in job interviews our ultimate goal is to sell ourselves, and that’s what I should be doing. 

What she was implying was that she was the prize and that I had to convince her that I was good for her.  I should have probably left the cafe at that point but the compassionate guy I am, I decided to stick it out.

She constantly bombarded me with questions like,


"What are your strengths?"

"What are your weaknesses?"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years"


So what you’re saying is that you don’t have enough emotional intelligence to satisfy those questions via other means and therefore must resort to explicitly asking me such questions with the hope that my answers would help you come to certain conclusions about me?

At the end of the meeting, she expressed her desire to "do this again".  Needless to say, after that "date" was over,  I literally ran back to my car. there was no way I was going to subject myself to that kind of agony.

The proceeding dates with other women were not much fun either.  I met-up with a girl who suggested we meet at a certain restaurant, which happened to be one of the more expensive ones in town.  Ok, no worries, I don't mind that. But then all through dinner, all she would yap about was her depression and her bi-polar disorder.  Hell...I did not spend that much money to listen to a lunatic tell me abut her mental illness!!

To be honest, there were a few women I met through OC that I felt chemistry with, but unfortunately, those interactions did not progress too far, as it was not meant to be.

After getting fed up with the whole online dating madness, I made the decision to go old school and signed up for some speed dating and singles events. Well let me tell ya guys...things did not improve too much.

Time after time, I came face to face with soulless, uninspiring and robotic women.  Women, who had no personality, no originality and most of all, no femininity.  Most of these women lacked a sense of humour and a jovial attitude. In their minds, being brusque was sexy, and being overly distant and unattainable was supposed to drive men wild and crazy.  

There’s only so much talking and flirting a guy can do before it becomes forced.  What men want is a woman — a real woman.  A woman who oozes femininity.  A classy, elegant woman that supports her man on the street and rocks his world between the sheets. A confident woman that knows how to flirt and doesn't return a sarcastic comment every time she is caught off-balance non-scripted flirting and doesn't have a scripted answer to my question or comment.

I am one of those guys who admires a lady who is confident enough to flirt with a man without needing to be drunk, or without suddenly getting uncomfortable when a man flirts with her in a way she’s never experienced in real life.  A a girl that doesn't immediately accuse a man of following some “X day rule” after he calls to set-up a future date.

I was looking for a girl who makes the interaction fun, not some chess match where I have to carefully plan what I say and how I act.

After meeting so may single women in Calgary, it was beginning to dawn on me that what I was experiencing  was the walking and talking brands represented by thousands of hours that were spent by marketing and advertising companies. I was stuck in the middle of a demographic that had been brain-washed by books like "The Rules" and all those trashy magazines that teach women 'How to Make Him Eat Out of the Palm of Your Hand'.


To them, every interaction was like a game of chess and every guy was an opponent.  Instead of letting their feminine side come out, these girls are obsessed with making calculated moves, and each move has to have a perfect balance of aggressiveness and aloofness. 


The harsh reality is that every woman wants to be Madonna, Lady Gaga, Rihana, or that slutty girl from Sex and The City, and because the media shoves these brands down our throats day in and day out, there are millions of women trying to emulate them with the understanding that’s how women ought to behave.

That girl who sits next to you on the C-Train, wearing skinny jeans, a nice fitting leather jacket, high heels, and carrying a Louis Vuitton bag is a live advertisement representing a handful of corporations that have won the battle for her heart and mind. She is a corporate slave, wasting away her prime child-bearing years at an oil & gas megacorp, trying to progress career-wise in the face of continuing "male oppression."  

She learns how to interact with men through magazines, mass media and relationship websites. She dates online, flirting and rejecting candidates from the comfort and security of her laptop.

And thanks to the feminist revolution and the battle against the "oppressive" males, women of this generation - and unfortunately the coming generation - have become anti-male and bitter rivals, hence the prospect of finding a truly feminine and emotionality stable woman are next to nothing in this city (or perhaps, most places in North America).

The modern western woman demands that  her emotional and physical requirements must be tended to at all times.  She’s not trying to get you to like her. She’s not relying on you for emotional support. She’s not relying on you for financial support. She’s using you as a vehicle for her own validation and empowerment, and that's it.  You, as a man, are just a tool, to be used for her own selfish needs, and your job is to somehow make yourself useful by delivering that validation and empowerment.

These preppy urbanites are, in essence, greedy, selfish, corporate prostitutes who cannot think for themselves and are always hungry for attention and compliments sacrificing at the cost of your own true self-interest. 

Maybe there is a market of guys who love to supplicate to a girl who carries herself like she just walked off the set of a popular sitcom. In fact there has to be some demand otherwise there would be a lot of lonely, depressed and disappointed women.

Here's the bottom-line guys...You can’t seduce Calgary women.  Click to tweet


Sure...you can get them drunk and have sex with them in the club’s bathroom, but that’s not seduction, and it's definitely not a winsome or desirable trait in a woman you want for a long-term relationship. They won’t make you grow. They won’t inspire you. They won’t teach you new things you don’t already know

I have reached a point where almost every woman I meet has a problem with being a grown-up.  I see her having drunken escapades and slumber parties with her girlfriends even though she’s well over 25 or 30 years old -- an age where she should be nurturing children and being a responsible member of society.

It is an unfortunate reality that wee witness in this city.  All the values that people in the "heart of the new west" used to hold dear to have all but vanished. 

It has become almost impossible to find a girl with emotional intelligence that can intuitively judge a man and not turn the date into a job interview if the man doesn't spill his life story within the first date or two.

It seems that to find that feminine, womanly, mysterious & ideal woman, a lot of men are looking outside this city.  Places outside Calgary, and even North America, are the last refuge for good men to seek the type of sincere women with integrity and generous character, who are kind to men, and devoid of character defects such as; anger, jealousy, slander, insincerity, selfishness, arrogance and most of all - aggression and dishonesty.

To those guys who are stuck with Calgary bitches...good luck!

21 comments:

  1. I would like to start by saying thank you for your honesty...and may I add...being polite for a women does still happen.

    Now...as a female, on the dating scene, I do have to agree with some of your comments. There are women out there looking for the:
    "baby daddy figure" kind
    "rich, and will take care of me" kind
    "Full of Issues" kind
    ...and the list goes on...
    But please...let me give you a little insight to our world. We are no different from you. We meet men who only want to have sex. We meet men who clearly have no focus because they spend 6 hours of their day at the gym. We meet men who say they are down to earth, only to find out they are crazy and possessive, and will stalk your profile. We meet men who send pictures of their penises...who say they are occasional drinkers, only to find out that they get hammered every day almost..
    and..the list goes on...
    So...we are not different from you...we go in with high hopes that slowly diminish after each date.
    Here's the thing I've learned...
    I am a 35 year old single mom...yes...a single mom..”OH NO!”
    I was married, had a child, and then divorced...it happens..it doesnt make us all trashy.
    And I do hope to get married again someday.
    I have a successful career, and a home I own and bought myself, a car I own...and money in the bank. I am an attractive women who loves the thought of being in a relationship, and possibly being married again.
    It is hard, because there are alot of good men out there that would like to have kids of their own..and we dont want to because we already have been there. I am one of them...what can I say...I don't want to be one of the ones with 3-4 baby daddy's...sue me...
    But let me point out something for you...its not our fault that you at, possibly 38-39 spent the last 15 years working to many hours, having beers with your boys, and lifting weights, instead of attempting to have a meaningful relationship...in fact...when we see a 39 year never married, no kids...thats a big red flag for us, as women...we think...what's wrong with this guy...some of us have been married, and unfortunately it just didn't work...it doesnt make us crazy...or unloveable...people change...

    On another note...we all have an attraction factor...its human nature...we cant help that...but listen up boys...we see the "high" expectations from you...some of you still think that a women worth your time looks like a barbie doll...size 2...
    Some of you who put "athletic" as your body type...are not!!!
    And guess what..we still love you anyway...
    A guy who has nothing but pics of himself posing at the gym and nothing more...is not husband material...he's just selfish...because that's all he does with his time.
    Oh...and just for the record...women do think that men who work out that much...and are that pumped up...are compensating for something...just sayin...

    Some of us women..."single moms"...are not trash, not poor, not crazy, dont have 5 baby daddys...etc.

    I went on 4 dates with a guy...really nice, great conversation, good connection...or so I thought...after the 4th date..we had a little "make out" session...
    and he actually had the nerve to make a “not so nice” comment on how my stomach had stretch marks...
    I never heard from him again...
    What..so because I had a child and got stretch marks...now you cant think about yourself vacationing in Mexico together because I want to wear a one piece instead of a bikini??

    The point is...you guys aren't perfect either...you have beer guts, and reseding hair lines...and we still find that sexy...
    Some of us are great girls...who have had kids..and have stretch marks...and hips...that's part of giving birth...that does not make any us of less sexy...

    Open your minds to something else, and maybe...just maybe..you will find that Calgary women...some of us...are worth it!!

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    Replies
    1. See you on POF lol

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    2. What a straight up lie. If a guy isnt totally ripped with 6 pack abs a 100k mercedes and a huge house, women wont even notice you exist with those 3 things

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    3. Ya see u on POF hahhaa

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    4. It doesn't mean what He said is wrong but I like your replay. At list you are honest and balanced. A pat on the back. Thank you gain.

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    5. This is for the 35 year old single mom that posted the comment
      Sweetheart you are not worth it, you're damaged goods and you are not looking for a nice man you're looking for a sucker to pay for your little mistake, When you opened your legs and said " give it to me baby " where is that guy now?
      Women in North America love jerks. Nice guys are providers and that's who you're looking for

      Why should a guy like me Date you ??!!!! What do you have to offer?? The answer is nothing
      You'll cheat on the nice guys with the first construction worker that gets you hot .

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  2. You hit the nail on the head.

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    Replies
    1. I agree , very interesting and honest article

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  3. Thanks for your feedback Anonymous lady. It's good to see that there are women in this city who actually understand the "problem" that decent men face.

    I will also concede that there are human pigs (aka men only after sexual conquests) in Calgary) or guys who want to be the next Jay Cutler or Arnold Schwarzenegger. I totally understand your point. So in essence, it us both genders, good men and women, who face similar challenges when it comes to dating.

    But you also misinterpreted my comments about single mom...I do not consider them "trashy" because they are single mom, but because despite being a parent, they behave like teenage sluts with raging hormones and refuse to "grow up".

    I wish there were more women like you who had their priorities straight and were responsible, but you my dear, are an exception and not the norm when it comes to women in Calgary.

    As for your complaint about "good men" who work too much or go to the gym...what is so wrong with that? Is it a crime to have the desire to be successful and be fit and healthy? A lot of women spend time doing yoga or crossfit, so should they be discounted just because they want to look good?

    Yes men can have unrealistic expectations when it comes to looks, but I see a growing number of women who want to date a guy who looks like Adam Levine, has abs like Ryan Gosling, is at least 6'5" tall AND can play 5 different musical instruments! Like you said yourself, no one is perfect and we need to learn to accept each other, warts and all.

    I do hope you find yourself a good man, and I also hope that women & and men - come to their senses and instead of chasing a mirage created by the media, they learn to be happy living in the REAL world.

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  4. Thank you for this.

    After the last couple years of trying to 'please' Calgary women without being a doormat (bot on and offline), I thought I could say it better, but I can't!

    Too much money in this city = a pandemic of douchebags and princesses. Home not worth $1/2M? No sports car? Don't look like a UFC fighter on parole? Alcohol and short-term relationships is likely all you've got to turn to.

    The only nice thing about this city is you'll find lots of women with a drinking problem! Take advantage, or be left behind by the guidos who will.

    - Reformed nice guy

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    Replies
    1. Its all about money,they want the thief who owns the oil company

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  5. I am not sure how I stumbled upon this blog, but as I was doing some research on Calgary, I found it. It was eye-opening, as I live in Florida and have had an awful time meeting decent men. In fact, the last man I met was Canadian and I have to say, he was by far one of the most amazing men I've met in quite a while. I've met a few other Canadian men who also hold up the same image. I can't imagine women in Calgary as so terrible. Honestly, I've thought about moving to Canada based on the quality of men I've met from there. Because, let me tell ya, men down here leave much to be desired. So, know you're not alone. And, cheers to finding great partners who don't suck!

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  6. Max:

    I apologize if I left the impression that it was a bad thing to work too much or go to the gym to much.

    Let me clarify...

    I once went on a few dates with a rather nice gentleman. And I say a few...because that is where I ended it. He purposely worked a dead end job, with very strange hours...just so that he could spend 4 hours at a gym a day.
    Look...its great to keep healthy and active...
    But if I was thinking about having kids with a guy...this would be a factor and a question I would ask myself.

    Is this guy going to go to work, then go straight to the gym, and leave me to tend to the kids by myself all the time.

    That was really the only point I was trying to make with that.

    It is similar for the work hours...same senario.
    I grew up with a dad who worked ALL the time. Great guy...super smart...but I do wish we would have spent more time together. His bank account may have afforded us a comfortable life, but time matters to kids.
    Us women think about these things when it comes to future marriage material

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  7. To Anonymous who wrote on Nov.16th.

    It is NOT all about finding the one who owns the company...at this point in my life...I would just like to find a guy, who at least makes as much as me...

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  8. I am new to calgary and seriously looking for a partner; should I say a wife material. But instead stumbled on this website. So what should I do now, where should I go? Any ideas? Or should I go back to the UK, look for a wife and bring her back to Calgary? Wont she be corrupted by same ladies here in Calgary? Have a friend that married this seemingly angel, but as I type they are looking for ways to divorce amicably. It seems she changed over time as she moved closer to independence and more so as she started realising that she can be like the other b****es without much ado, she started feeling more liberated and less tied to her Good man, she sensed she may be missing out; a sort of syndrome I think. Where do we go from here?

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  9. Old Italian saying: All that you will ever have to know about men and women... Absolutely all women are crazy, and absolutely every man is dumb... And the reason why all women are crazy is because all men are dumb.

    In other words, this media pressure that has created these superficial bimbos that you are referring to... Well, who do you think was the driving force behind all these fabricated ideals that are pushed on women? Yep, it's us dude.

    And please...Everybody, for the love of god!... Stop this online dating crap you pathetic tools!!! This is how its worked since the beginning of time: You try out as many women as it takes until one day you find one you do not want to kick out of bed, and the you find yourself in a couple, and yes sometimes it won't be for "life" but insane is the person who thinks he can defy the laws of the universe and think he can will anything into being permanent. Nothing is. Change is the only constant.... So my advice to you is this...Grow some balls and walk up to the next girl you find attractive and talk her up. Maybe she'll turn you down but that's life, and maybe, just maybe, she'll fall heads over heel for you and drive you crazy and nag and fart and be a cunt sometimes and have a mental problem and maybe even worst...But you everyday she will be the first person you wanna to run and talk to when something bad or great happens!...Because everything we need to know in life we've learned in Kinderrgarden: Best way to have a friend is to be a friend. Become the person you'd like to find in a partner and she will come. Peace and love. And by the way, this was not written by some introvert ugly duckling with unfulfilled dreams. My life has rocked and I could die tomorrow with no regrets. I'm a hot boy and a memorable lover and friend to all my past relationship I'm sure...Because I made it that way. I created my life and chose my path and will continue to do so.

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  10. Nailed it. 2015 and things haven't changed, OPEC oil price crash might help this city...

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  11. This guy hit the nail right on the head stuck up red neck bitches who have no soul as a guy with half bleed this place of all it's resources and then leave

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  12. FUUUCK! And 5 days ago I bought a fuckin zoosk membership 59bucks and today I found your text BRO which is true only true and nothing but the truth. Yea, no point finding a woman here for a Good mens hearth. Nothin, zero, world has changed a lot Gods laws are disrespected women should not be something which is so so hard to have, but yea democracy raised price of a pussy it made it golden - thats why people at high positions fucks every woman they want. Fuck everything i Can live and without a women, and this is how we should behave MENS dont be dogs to them ignore them haha ignore them for one whole generation and they will beg us. Salute

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  13. As a woman who recently moved to Calgary, I find this interesting...very interesting. We should meet.

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  14. I could write a book as to my experiences with dating "todays" women. It seems however; that the women of today will never understand what life is really all about; and so ...they bring very little (other than sex...and quite often that' s not so great either), to the table. As the one gentleman sited; femininity has gone out the window, as has maturity. So much for the human race!

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