Thursday, November 8, 2012

Single Women of Calgary

It's been quite a while since I posted anything on this blog. One of the main reasons for my neglect of this site was my work and business, but I was also busy taking care of my social and 'love' life. 

In the last year or so, I have been on a routine of dating women in Calgary, because quite frankly, I am looking for a woman to settle down with.  But so far, what I have learned is that finding a long-term female companion in this city is more painful than having a root canal done.  Hence, this blog post.

What follows are my observations of Calgary girls and their messed-up attributes. 

So what are girls in Calgary like...? Click to tweet

Let us start from the bottom of the barrel...from a place called 'Plenty of Fish'.  Most of you know about this so-called dating website. Honestly, Plenty of Fish should be renamed Plenty of Single Moms. Now personally, I actually prefer single mothers (or at least I did) because I was under the impression that once a woman has a child -- or two -- that she would become more mature. Boy was I wrong!

So this website, POF, is like a smorgasbord of single mommy's, girls who got knocked up in their late teens and early twenties. And even though these girls are fairly young age wise, their lack of "up-keep" makes them look like they are in their thirties.

When you sign up for an account ans send out genuine email messages to who you think are smart and mature girls, either you don't get a response or what you get are brainless one-sentence answers to your thoughtful paragraph or two email.

And then you have those ads for pof that are popping up on various websites “have you gotten a message from a hot girl today at plenty of fish?” 

Hot girl? really?!  Which one? The girl that is separated and has 3 kids…who of course doesn't want more?!!

You’re just shit out of luck if you want kids of your own with these women, but OH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ON ALL THEIR BAGGAGE!  That is par for the course! I was amazed at the audacity of those women in particular. 

Here I am, 30 years old, never been married, have no children….yet I am supposed to settle for used up goods? Call me old fashioned, but I want a girl that does not have multiple kids with multiple fathers. So that took out about 70% of "fish" swimming around in those dirty waters. 

That left me with the unattractive, dopey, and mean, stuck up bitches. I went on a few dates with women I met from there, and each experience was worse than sitting in a dentist chair. I felt no attraction to them whatsoever.  

Needless to say, my PoF adventure did not last too long, and I had to accept...this particular website was not the best place to find classy women.  So at the reommendation of a friend, I signed up on another dating site which he spoke highly of and claimed that he had a positive experience of.....OkCupid.

I browsed the website before putting up my profile and thought, 'Hmm, well this looks a bit more high-class'.
So I gave it a go. 

The first date I got from OkCupid was just a taste of things to come. This woman, who from her profile seemed intelligent and down-to-earth kind of girl, viewed our interaction as a job interview, explaining that like in job interviews our ultimate goal is to sell ourselves, and that’s what I should be doing. 

What she was implying was that she was the prize and that I had to convince her that I was good for her.  I should have probably left the cafe at that point but the compassionate guy I am, I decided to stick it out.

She constantly bombarded me with questions like,

"What are your strengths?"

"What are your weaknesses?"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years"

So what you’re saying is that you don’t have enough emotional intelligence to satisfy those questions via other means and therefore must resort to explicitly asking me such questions with the hope that my answers would help you come to certain conclusions about me?

At the end of the meeting, she expressed her desire to "do this again".  Needless to say, after that "date" was over,  I literally ran back to my car. there was no way I was going to subject myself to that kind of agony.

The proceeding dates with other women were not much fun either.  I met-up with a girl who suggested we meet at a certain restaurant, which happened to be one of the more expensive ones in town.  Ok, no worries, I don't mind that. But then all through dinner, all she would yap about was her depression and her bi-polar disorder.  Hell...I did not spend that much money to listen to a lunatic tell me abut her mental illness!!

To be honest, there were a few women I met through OC that I felt chemistry with, but unfortunately, those interactions did not progress too far, as it was not meant to be.

After getting fed up with the whole online dating madness, I made the decision to go old school and signed up for some speed dating and singles events. Well let me tell ya guys...things did not improve too much.

Time after time, I came face to face with soulless, uninspiring and robotic women.  Women, who had no personality, no originality and most of all, no femininity.  Most of these women lacked a sense of humour and a jovial attitude. In their minds, being brusque was sexy, and being overly distant and unattainable was supposed to drive men wild and crazy.  

There’s only so much talking and flirting a guy can do before it becomes forced.  What men want is a woman — a real woman.  A woman who oozes femininity.  A classy, elegant woman that supports her man on the street and rocks his world between the sheets. A confident woman that knows how to flirt and doesn't return a sarcastic comment every time she is caught off-balance non-scripted flirting and doesn't have a scripted answer to my question or comment.

I am one of those guys who admires a lady who is confident enough to flirt with a man without needing to be drunk, or without suddenly getting uncomfortable when a man flirts with her in a way she’s never experienced in real life.  A a girl that doesn't immediately accuse a man of following some “X day rule” after he calls to set-up a future date.

I was looking for a girl who makes the interaction fun, not some chess match where I have to carefully plan what I say and how I act.

After meeting so may single women in Calgary, it was beginning to dawn on me that what I was experiencing  was the walking and talking brands represented by thousands of hours that were spent by marketing and advertising companies. I was stuck in the middle of a demographic that had been brain-washed by books like "The Rules" and all those trashy magazines that teach women 'How to Make Him Eat Out of the Palm of Your Hand'.

To them, every interaction was like a game of chess and every guy was an opponent.  Instead of letting their feminine side come out, these girls are obsessed with making calculated moves, and each move has to have a perfect balance of aggressiveness and aloofness. 

The harsh reality is that every woman wants to be Madonna, Lady Gaga, Rihana, or that slutty girl from Sex and The City, and because the media shoves these brands down our throats day in and day out, there are millions of women trying to emulate them with the understanding that’s how women ought to behave.

That girl who sits next to you on the C-Train, wearing skinny jeans, a nice fitting leather jacket, high heels, and carrying a Louis Vuitton bag is a live advertisement representing a handful of corporations that have won the battle for her heart and mind. She is a corporate slave, wasting away her prime child-bearing years at an oil & gas megacorp, trying to progress career-wise in the face of continuing "male oppression."  

She learns how to interact with men through magazines, mass media and relationship websites. She dates online, flirting and rejecting candidates from the comfort and security of her laptop.

And thanks to the feminist revolution and the battle against the "oppressive" males, women of this generation - and unfortunately the coming generation - have become anti-male and bitter rivals, hence the prospect of finding a truly feminine and emotionality stable woman are next to nothing in this city (or perhaps, most places in North America).

The modern western woman demands that  her emotional and physical requirements must be tended to at all times.  She’s not trying to get you to like her. She’s not relying on you for emotional support. She’s not relying on you for financial support. She’s using you as a vehicle for her own validation and empowerment, and that's it.  You, as a man, are just a tool, to be used for her own selfish needs, and your job is to somehow make yourself useful by delivering that validation and empowerment.

These preppy urbanites are, in essence, greedy, selfish, corporate prostitutes who cannot think for themselves and are always hungry for attention and compliments sacrificing at the cost of your own true self-interest. 

Maybe there is a market of guys who love to supplicate to a girl who carries herself like she just walked off the set of a popular sitcom. In fact there has to be some demand otherwise there would be a lot of lonely, depressed and disappointed women.

Here's the bottom-line guys...You can’t seduce Calgary women.  Click to tweet can get them drunk and have sex with them in the club’s bathroom, but that’s not seduction, and it's definitely not a winsome or desirable trait in a woman you want for a long-term relationship. They won’t make you grow. They won’t inspire you. They won’t teach you new things you don’t already know

I have reached a point where almost every woman I meet has a problem with being a grown-up.  I see her having drunken escapades and slumber parties with her girlfriends even though she’s well over 25 or 30 years old -- an age where she should be nurturing children and being a responsible member of society.

It is an unfortunate reality that wee witness in this city.  All the values that people in the "heart of the new west" used to hold dear to have all but vanished. 

It has become almost impossible to find a girl with emotional intelligence that can intuitively judge a man and not turn the date into a job interview if the man doesn't spill his life story within the first date or two.

It seems that to find that feminine, womanly, mysterious & ideal woman, a lot of men are looking outside this city.  Places outside Calgary, and even North America, are the last refuge for good men to seek the type of sincere women with integrity and generous character, who are kind to men, and devoid of character defects such as; anger, jealousy, slander, insincerity, selfishness, arrogance and most of all - aggression and dishonesty.

To those guys who are stuck with Calgary bitches...good luck!